recollection
by oumwords
Summary: Emma learns that not every valentine's day story is a pleasant one; one shot.


warnings: mentions of violence, my mistakes

...

_..._

"Come on," Emma laughs into an open palm, her chin resting there as she stares across from Regina. "Even Neal managed something special, and we were dirt poor and sleeping in the bug."

"I'm telling you the truth, Miss Swan," Regina snaps a little, her hoarse tone losing its playful edge. "I do not have a valentine's day story. It's never been anything of importance to me, Henry being the only exception."

"Alright, okay, so you're telling me you're like, what? Seventy, and you've never celebrated valentine's day?" Emma is smirking at Regina, only dropping her eyes to find her straw. She's pretty sure the kid's lost inside the bathroom, has fallen down the toilet or something.

Or, maybe he's giving her time to talk to Regina; he's a good kid, an observant one, and his mother has been anxious and gaunt-looking and pretty damn miserable in the run up to valentine's day.

"No," Regina huffs out, and she sounds exasperated. Emma thinks she's going to say more but she stays quiet, running her index finger along the rim of her coffee cup, impressively focused on it.

When she finally does look up, having waited for Emma to fill the silence until it's obvious she ultimately won't, Regina grits out, "Fine, to answer your incessant questions: I did celebrate valentine's day, once. My mother hosted a grand ball, and during which I was to entertain potential suitors."

Oblivious to the tension in the sandpaper tone, mistaking the reddening haze across Regina's eyes, Emma leans forward, pressing her chest into the table as she quirks a brow to Regina.

"What happened? Did you fall onto your ass mid-dance and have to run out? Rip your dress? Nip-slip? Because Mary Margaret tried explaining fairytale land dresses so I totally wouldn't blame you if it was a nip-"

"No, Miss Swan," Regina interrupts, and Emma realizes her tone then, her stomach already sinking. "I tried to find an escape from the ball to spend my evening with Daniel, who had planned something special. My mother was waiting for me by the gates, furious and demanding who on this earth I could love more than her, to want to leave her and spend a day dedicated to love with someone else."

"What happened?" Emma asks after a long moment, eyes low, a flush of shame painting onto her cheeks.

"She beat me black and blue, is what happened, dear."

Regina inhales deeply through her nose, trying to ground herself, center herself despite the fact her mind is already racing back there, decades ago, already recalling the taste of metallic in her mouth and the sickening crack of her ribs and the way, when magic had encompassed her, its scent so achingly familiar, not even the weightlessness it provided could ease the maddening pain she felt.

"Crap, Regina I'm so-" Emma tries, only to be cut off by the words still falling from Regina's parted lips.

"When I woke up two days later, and snuck out despite knowing better than to find Daniel, the first thing he did was vomit at the marks my mother had left on my body." An olive palm lifts up to an exposed collarbone without conscious permission, and she continues, "I lied about it, of course. I told him I had fallen down the stairs after retiring for the evening from the ball."

It's not right, Emma thinks, and it's not fair.

"D-Did he believe you?" she asks, voice lower again.

Regina shrugs weightily, staring longingly toward the bathroom door where Henry is almost certainly giving them time to talk.

"I'm not sure to this day. He could barely stomach my explanation in sight of the bruises. I said very little at all before I left again." Regina looks straight to her then, the usual brown in her eyes looking much more of a black color, her true expression indiscernible amid the chaos of emotions flitting one after another after another.

"Remembering makes me wonder if perhaps he had been strong enough to listen to anything hurting me, then _perhaps_ he would have disputed me, insisted we flee beyond my mother's grasp and live out our days where no one could touch us. If _I_ had been brave enough, strong enough to tell him..." Regina trails off, looking ill. "And I never, ever want to have those thoughts about Daniel. I never want to associate our love for each other with any kind of weakness."

A beat passes, and Emma's left floundering on her words, mouth gaping like an idiot as all facilities seemingly abandon her.

"So now you see, Miss Swan," Regina laughs, humming with a faux-lilt, clearly pained.

She rises to stand and finds Emma's skittering gaze once more, shouldering her bag. "Now you see why valentine's day is something I would rather not participate in, ever. Although do enjoy dessert with Henry; I've always tried to make it special for him, at least."

...

thank you for reading. i hope you enjoyed it :)


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